Meanwhile, at the Corner of Bored & Desperate...
Welcome to the new dawn of your romantic adventures. Step right up to your opportunity to meet the like-minded, intelligent, and totes fuckable man of your dreams.
Read More2014's Greatest Hits
No one said you could have it all. And certainly nothing really ever turns out quite the way you think it will.
Read MoreA response to VICE's "Reasons Why SF Is the Worst Place Ever."
The obvious question is: why the hell do we live here, in this ruined city that, as VICE and others have deftly illustrated, has so obviously lost its soul? Why haven't we screwed off to Oakland or NYC or Los Angeles or Papua New Guinea or any number of less sucktastic, less obnoxious places?
Read MoreDirty Words
Because I wanted to be exactly like her, nail art and all, I decided that I, too, would one day write erotica on the side, and thus pave my road to financial security, whilst I toiled at meaningful novels and dark short stories.
Read MoreThe Mature Adult's Guide to Anger Management (Doesn't Exist).
From where you stood by the bar on the the west side of the room, the glassware would take a satisfyingly long flight before its explosive and cathartic termination upon the brick wall.
Read MoreRoll with It
She was tall and lean and on roller skates. The old-school high-top roller-disco kind with orange wheels.
Read MoreAiming for Strange
Laurie Anderson, Lou Reed, Howard Romano—just three of the countless individuals who have existed in this world to make it more interesting, to make it deeply, beautifully, intelligently, engagingly interesting.
Read MoreHow to Dine Alone
For those who recoil at the thought of a solitary repast, I am here to tell you, solo-dining is the shit.
Read MoreBrain Worms
If I thought my DFW infection was bad after reading a short story collection or two, steeping myself in the likes of Infinite Jest is proving catastrophic to my productivity.
Read MoreThe Optimism Experiment
I'm noticing this regrettable earnestness popping up with increasing frequency.
Read MoreForgetting the Guy
Obviously, that line of thinking transcends bullshit. It takes the proverbial idea of bullshit to entirely new bullshitty levels.
Read MoreBlock This
A lack of ideas is not a viable excuse. That is not writer's block. That is me being a lazy shit.
Read MoreMy Hot Shrink
Yeah, I see a shrink. There. I said it.
Read MoreBreaking Up with Valentine's Day. Again.
and then there's the rest of us, jilted, our red-foil-and-doily heart overtures unrequited, or ignored entirely, staring longingly at the prizes of romantic success.
Read MoreI Faint, Therefore I Am
“Are you here alone?” asked one of Zee French.
Yes, I thought, I am quite alone. And I’ve just fainted in the middle of a restaurant in a foreign country that doesn’t have a bang-up reputation for medical treatment.
Read MoreMiscellaneous Updates from the Last 72 Hours
If two single ladies can’t talk about cats, really, what’s left?
Read MoreBad Tourist
I travel. But I am not a traveler. Not in the bold, roughing it way of the Portuguese girl in the car with me, who could so easily live without the comforts of international cuisine, laundry, and wifi. She is the kind of traveler I’d always pictured myself to be, but never quite had the gumption to actually become.
Read MoreCambodia, for now
We started with the Killing Fields. It’s a strange thing: genocide as a tourist attraction. I can’t say why I wanted to go. It seemed important to witness the site of such atrocities
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